Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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