Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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