dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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