I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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