dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
