true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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