"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
