You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
