I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
