he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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