I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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