I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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