yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
