____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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