she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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