The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was so not down for the gang bang
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
