i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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