We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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