the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
