the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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