We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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