I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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