i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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