just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
