I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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