i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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