i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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