That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
