mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
