Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
