i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
