im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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