someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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