At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
