Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
