I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
