She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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