So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I love having hate sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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