yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
