What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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