Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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