I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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