i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
