Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
