Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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