with your own penis?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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