I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
