Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize