I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
