I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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