Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
