...so i touched it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
