Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
