she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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