Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
