i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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