How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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