I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
