Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
