Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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