I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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