so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
