ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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